12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
