The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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