There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
PANTIES FOUND
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
