cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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