The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
