I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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