So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
