why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
