before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How's work?
Spinning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
