I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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