she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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