you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
