Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
farters have to be the big spoon...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
