They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
