3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
