You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
