please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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