His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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