Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
