what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
