So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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