its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
