im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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