So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All the doctor said was why
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
