Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
