Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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