At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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