We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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