what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
