for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
