Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
