I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
