how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Are we still banned from the library?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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