Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
