He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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