you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
