i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
