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i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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