i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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