I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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