I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
