My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
