I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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