She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
