Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have tasted many bathrooms
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
