I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
