i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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