You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
