How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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