Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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