Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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